Thinking of You
by 4getfulimaginator
Summary: CS canon divergence AU, set during the missing year (mid-season 3). Hook finds a girl shipwrecked on the shore, injured and lost. He helps her to live. She helps him to hope.


A/N: This is set it in the Fairytale World, during season 3 when Hook and company are taken back after Regina undid the curse. Prompt by former _ahookedheart_ on Tumblr: "Killian finds this girl (Astrid age 17) very weak, cold,washed up on shore, and shallow breathing. she doesn't even remember her name. He takes her back to the ship (He does have some medical knowledge) to help her."

* * *

He was walking along the shore when he found her, a white body outlined by dark, dark sand, a glowing star in this firmament. Raven hair strewn about her bare shoulders, simple peasant dress outlining her status as woman - but she couldn't be more than seventeen. It was quite a discovery amidst this emptiness, a barren land that was only visited by the sea.

When she had coughed up a bevy of water, her hands were shaking. "Help me," her whisper of a voice begged, her limbs weak as she clung to the edges of his coat.

He thought he could turn his back on her, as per the pirate's way, and leave her behind. But he remembered who he was, who he used to be. _The gentleman Liam wanted him to be. The hero Emma would want him to be._ In a heartbeat, he was carrying the girl's small form in his arms, teetering on wet sand when his boots sunk down into it.

"What's your name, lass?" he muttered, wincing when her fingernails dug into his shoulders with more force than necessary, her sudden bout of strength surprising him.

Her eyelids fluttered slowly, and then deep blue eyes were staring at him, filled with fear. "I - I don't know." A muted gasp escaped her throat. "I really don't know."

He understood perfectly. Because neither did he, now that his reason for living was long gone.

* * *

She reminded him of Milah. When he didn't bring her food quick enough, she was short-tempered. When he failed to check on her in the infirmary, she was sullen and dismayed. Strong-willed and impetuous when her face was bright and happy, if only for an instant. And most of all, she seemed to enjoy being at sea, walking on the _Jolly Roger_ with the studious scan of an owner, not a guest.

Killian imagined Milah's daughter would have been like her, if Milah ever had a daughter.

"The bone seems to be healing quite nicely," he commented once when he was scrutinizing her person, making sure her injuries were dissipating in the natural way. She tore her arm from him when he prodded her shoulder a few moments longer.

"What am I supposed to do, cooped up in here with nothing but a wall to stare at?"

He shrugged, a small grin emerging despite his wishes otherwise. He was supposed to be mourning the loss of the woman he'd learned to love, her golden hair and dazzling smile engraved on his dreams. "You could read a book," he drawled, taking a volume from the shelf and placing it in her thin hands. "How about fairy tales, hmm?"

The girl made a face, scrunching her nose. "I'm too old to listen to children's stories, _Captain_."

Killian felt like laughing, but he fought the urge bravely and settled for a smirk instead. "Oh, darling - they are anything but."

* * *

"Astrid."

It was a ghost of a sound. He couldn't believe his ears. "Astrid?"

She nodded frantically, pretending to pick at the frayed ends of the shawl he'd given her, giving a few sideways glances at his crew as they tended to the ship. "It must be my name. I can feel it."

Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that when things had names, they also had homes. "And I'm guessing you recall your destination as well, lass?"

"No." Dark red ribbons tossed and turned in the wind, but her style of hair remained intact thanks to their intervention. "I only think…that I must have been running away from something. Trying to forget."

He turned the helm sharply. "I as well, love," he murmured under his breath, looking down at the initials carved into the wood. Would no one ever stay?

* * *

His fingers moved this way and that, her sparkling eyes following them. When they dropped down and then made a circle, tapping his hook, a grin tugged at Astrid's pale pink lips, and he won her radiant smile. "Well? Am I healthy and cured, Captain?" she teased.

He huffed with mock impatience, secretly pleased that she didn't see him as the monster most had labeled him to be. "You seem to be alright…though only time will tell for certain. At the very least, your brain and heart are healthy."

"Ah," she remarked, glancing up at him as she cocked her head, "that's the news I want to hear." She pursed her lips. "Who taught you - about medicine and doctoring?"

"Liam," he answered immediately, cursing himself for being so free with his secrets just because he trusted this slip of a woman. "My - my brother. But being on a pirate ship for so long…seeing so many battles…I had to be well informed in any case - if my surgeon died, for example." He made a show of looking about the room. "Turns out that was a very good investment."

When Astrid laughed merrily at his jest, he recalled another laugh, tinkling and lovely and his heart's delight. _Emma. Emma darling. Where are you, love? Are you thinking of me, the way I'm thinking of you?_

"Who is she?"

Startled, his head whipped toward her. She sighed. "The woman you love." When he didn't reply, she explained, "I could be many things, but I'm no simpleton. You miss her, whoever she is. The way you see me sometimes, when you think I'm not looking at you…you drift off into space, staring at nothing. But I see your longing. I feel it. It's how I long…" She swallowed hard. "How I long to be remembered, so I can finally go home."

A shuddering breath rattled his throat. "There's no home for me but where _she_ is."

"Then find her. Go to her." Smaller fingers curled around his, squeezing them reassuringly.

Killian forced himself to gain some semblance of control. "She's gone."

But Astrid wouldn't relent. "No, she's not," she insisted. "Or you wouldn't still wish for her so much."

* * *

The next port they stopped at it, Astrid went ashore, laden with coins Killian had given her to make purchases. She didn't come back when it was time to heave ho. When Killian made inquiries, the townsfolk said she was packed for a long journey, leading a horse in the direction of the mainland.

She was finding her way home.

* * *

When a white dove sat perched on his windowsill, note tied around its leg, cooing madly, Killian knew what he had to do, a frayed red ribbon in his hand.

 _Emma. She was his home._

 _He would find her again._

* * *

 **A/N: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT...**

 **My stories are now only on Archive of Our Own, under the same username.**

 **To former readers:** Since January 2016, I decided to stop posting my fanfiction on this site. I also do not have a Tumblr, nor do I belong to any fandoms anymore.

I continue to update my fanfics at will on AO3, out of respect for something that I feel obligated to finish, and in memory of a ship, Captain Swan, I once loved very much. This account is still here because FF does not allow users to delete their accounts.

If you have enjoyed my stories in the past, thank you for following my work. If you'd still like to receive updates, my stories can be viewed at AO3.

 **COMPLETE**

*Be My Angel, Be My Demon

*Only the Beginning

*Nevermore

*For Eternity

*Trader of Hearts

*Thinking of You

*Can't Help Fallin' for You

*Touching

*Resistance

 **IN PROGRESS (all were recently updated)**

*One Against the Wind

*A Cobbler's Life for Me

*Heart Bound

*Thorns in My Side

 **All stories will be completed on AO3. I will update the completed story list on my profile page here as I make progress on AO3. Once all stories are finished, I will exit the fanfiction scene once and for all. Thank you again for your support during the past 4 years.**


End file.
